Its make me have horrible terrible feeling and it destroying my mood of working, mood of smiling...
I never expect those thing will happen on me since I was young..
I thought this thing is the most happy thing I have...
Suffer, happy, smiling, go out together...
In the past, a small lorry is our main transportation...
6 people get into small lorry...laugh together...
He will drive and fetch us go anywhere to enjoy even accompany him to work..
He bring us go anywhere that we haven went there before...
Because of him, I manage to recognize almost all the road in Kuala Lumpur..
Sometimes when I loss, pick up phone, dial his number, he will teach me....
Usually after all day he busy working, he will bring us go yam cha...
Sometime we all try to don't sleep at night because we want follow him to go out yam cha...
Is very fun sometimes we all demanding him to bring us out...
Besides lottery, all his money usually will give us either for expenses or for schooling or for us to go out enjoy...
Last time, I was very easy to demand money from him...
'I want go Leisure Mall'...'Nah, Rm50'....direct...no question on asking who I'm going with...
Enjoy..fun...happy...easy...nice....
Last time, he has a hawker stall...
He make himself the big trolley that contain all the ingredient that needed for his stall, everyday open and closing time, he will push the trolley for almost 30min+ to reach home or reach his stall...
Sometimes when we free, we will help him..
But mostly, he push by his own self since we all have to school..
Every Saturday, for sure we all will help him out because of the night market (pasar malam)..
Mostly, every Saturday is the most busy for him as a lot customer...
But every Saturday, we all enjoy pasar malam rather than help him out...
But for sure, she will help him...
No matter what, she will always stand beside him to support...
At the past, she was a pretty lady..
Because of me, they been together...
Although is suffer, but she still besides him and help him out...
During we suffer, we all move here and there...
Sometimes they need our savings...
We all go through together with one heart...
We all did not blame for the mistake that he done...
We all stand besides him and support him...
We all help him figure all the solutions...
We cry, we scare but still we are happy because we are in one heart...
They usually will borrow my ear and I'm the one who ready to lend my ear...
After the info come into my brain, my tears drop silently....
My heart pain silently...
My heart scare silently...
No body no about this...
But still I'm not blaming him...
I still love him...
One day, he decided to work far from our home...
Damn damn far...
Although that time I was very sad because he gonna work so far...
No yam cha...no chance sit in his lorry...travel and laughing together...
But this is only choice...
Last time, he got coming back home frequently...
But this frequently are getting lesser and lesser....
Once a year he coming back to visit...
2 years once he coming back...
I start to miss him....
She is the only one who earn money and support us...
Because of this, I start applying part time job...
This will help me out in financial/expenses matter...
But because all those problem, I can't concentrate on study....
But after all those years...we happy...we suffer...finally...
10 March 2009..She told me that he leaving us....
he decided to left us.....................
Left us because of the people call 'lady'...
Left us because of the people 34cm pants size....
This year, he show a sign to her that he had another 'lady'..
She able to feel it...
She did not show the pain...the sadness...
She hide all the sadness, pain alone...
But she brave to face this issue..
But inside her eye, I saw the tiredness of working, sadness, unhappy, worried...
I can't see any happiness....
Why??Why??Why??
Why he make such decision??
After all this year, she and us accompany him suffer, make him happy...
We scare, sad, cry.....all because of his mistake....
If the mistake never appear, is it will appear another outcome that is much more happy??
Why??Why??Why??
After all this year together, is it any 'LOVE' did not appear on his heart to her??
Is it 'external look' is very important rather than 'internal look'??
She not able to make her external look nicer is because she did not have such time or such money to make it...did he know that??
She is a person who like to travel, like make up, like pretty...of cause she want herself pretty...due to money and timing problem..she did not do that...did he realise that???
Why??Why??Why??
After all this year they been together, she always stand beside him and support him whether he doing wrong or not...did he appreciated that???
I really can't describe my feelings now...
Is totally horrible...
"To built up a family, takes a years, to destroy the family, take a minute"
"To built up a married relationship, need a lot preparation..To divorce, take single paper and sign it or even verbally or even one sms"
"I miss you, Pa"
0 comments:
Post a Comment